Through Time
by jmandina
Summary: A few short one shots written while the Titans were joined with Terra. First is before Betray, second is after. Third is after After Shock 1 and the last one is after Aftershock 2.
1. Nothing but Heartache

"Oh my God Beast Boy you are so funny!" the blonde haired girl yelled as she clutched her sides and fell to the floor laughing. Tears began to fall from her eyes as she gasped for air.

"Dude, I knew you would love that joke. I saved it all day just for you." The green Titan replied with a large smile on his face, his eyes glimmered with the satisfaction that his intended target was amused with him. He then held out his gloved hand to help her up, she accepted but lingered for a moment as their eyes met.

Raven rolled her eyes at the scene that was unfolding before her. She had come out to the front room to read, just as she did every day and yet again found herself distracted by the same two annoyances that pledged elsewhere in the tower.

Terra had been back with the Titans for about three months now, all the while Raven couldn't shake the eerie feeling that she had felt the first day she had came back requesting to be a Teen Titan. Every time she looked at their new member she felt a dark presence surrounding her, as if some part of her was lingering in the shadows, hidden from everyone else. Yet there seemed to be nothing wrong with her, she could hold her own in a fight, and her powers had even hinted as any control issues. Still, there was just something there that gave Raven the creeps.

"You are the best Beast Boy, really." Terra said as she stood and pulled her hand away, Beast Boy blushed slightly as she touched his shoulder fondly.

Raven felt her stomach drop at this simple gesture of compassion, that was when she decided she had enough. After slamming her door shut loudly she stood up and said "Well I came here to find peace and quiet, now that that ship has sailed I think I will go find something else to do." although she kept her voice monotone there was still a sharp edge to her words.

The couple stopped what they were doing and looked at her for the first time since they had arrived in the OPS room. "Oh sorry Raven, I didn't see you there." Beast Boy said with a sincere tone. "We can go if you want."

"Don't apologize Beast Boy, this is everyone's space not just hers." Terra said back in a harsh tone. "If she wants peace and quiet, then she should go to her room."

Now Terra doesn't usually argue with Raven's wishes, however in the past few weeks her tempter had become almost as short as hers. Raven had also taken note that her stress levels had increased an alarming amount and she had started to admit a small amount of guilt on a daily basis. This just added to the suspicion that was already surrounding the blond haired beauty.

Raven raised an eyebrow at her team mate and said "Excuse me? This was my common room long before it was yours, so I deserve some respect." it took a large amount of control to keep her voice steady and emotionless, however she knew that her breaking point was right around the corner.

"Last time I checked you didn't hold any superiority over me, and you have done nothing to earn my respect. Just because you have been here longer, doesn't mean that you get to walk around her all gloom and doom like, you need to-"

Terra was cut off by the sound of a dish exploding in the sink. Beast Boy instantly reacted and blocked Terra off from Raven protectively, this action made the goth take a step back in shock. How could he honestly think that she would attack her own team mate? Her heart began to race at the sight of his arms around Terra while his gaze were fixated on her, looking into his eyes she could see a his primal form that he used in battle. She had never seen in used on her.

Tears began to form in her eyes as she backed away from the two slowly. It was as if time had stopped in that moment, his gaze lingered on her. As if in slow motion, she proceeded pulled up her hood and muttered a form of apology as she walked through the doors.

After locking herself in her room Raven could not hold back her tears any longer. In the safety of her room she allowed herself to cry. She cried for what had just happened, she cried for the terrible feeling that she had in her heart, more than anything she cried because she felt so lost and alone. Books and parchments began to crash through her room, she knew that she needed to calm herself but was having a hard time taming the horrible feeling that was growing inside her.

It took a long time, however eventually she found the strength to calm herself down. After she was done putting everything back in it's rightful place it was just past dinner time and there was a light knock on the door. Raven held her breath.

"Raven? Please friend are you not in there?"

A smile crossed Raven's face at the sound of the voice on the other end, it was just Starfire. After exhaling she replied "Yeah I'm in here Star."

"Please we are sitting down to dinner and you were not present. Are you not joining us this evening?" Starfire sounded so innocent, the dark feeling inside of her was absent in her alien friend.

"Uh.." Raven paused before thinking of her answer. "No. I'm not hungry, I think I'm going to skip dinner, but thank you."

Raven heard a large sigh escape her alien friends lips, as there was a light thud on the door. Raven knew she was leaning her head against the metal, Star had a tendency of doing this when she was worried. "Very well I shall let the rest know." and just like that Star's footsteps began to echo through the hallway.

A ping of guilt hit Raven's heart, she never meant to upset her friend. She honestly never meant to upset anyone with her actions ever, that's just the way things turn out for her. She always found herself at the worst end of the stick, she never had any luck.

Time seemed to pass painfully slow, Raven tried to meditate but every time she closed her eyes she saw Beast Boy's face. She saw the primal look in his eyes, the look of fear mixed with the need to protect. In that moment he had saw her as a threat, he had thought that she would actually harm her own team mate. Sure she had seen this look from other people, but never him. He had never looked that way at her until Terra came into their lives.

After giving up on meditating Raven decided to visit Cyborg. She knew he would been in the garage at this time of night so she changed her out of her uniform and slipped into a pair of sweats and t-shirt. There was no need to ruin her uniform with grease after all.

While making her way to the his workshop Raven made it a point to mentally scan the hallways for any sign of Terra or Beast Boy. The last thing she needed was to run into them after what happened today, she did not need that kind of stress right now.

Finally she made it to her destination. Cyborg looked up from what he was working on and gave her a friendly smile "Hey Rae, I wondered when I would be seeing you."

Raven rolled her eyes at her pet name. "Yeah, I figured that I would come down here and see if you needed any help." She made a gesture to her attire and he laughed.

"I can see that. Right now I don't need help, but you can keep me company if you want."

The goth took the offer and sat on the stool beside her metal friend while he worked. Neither of them spoke, but it was not an awkward silence. That's what made spending time with Cyborg so great, he didn't need to hold a conversation with her, in a way he just knew when she needed him and, being the big brother he was, was more than willing wallow in silence with her.

After about an hour of silence he finally spoke up "So do you want to talk about it?"

She perked her head up at his question, "Talk about what?" she tired to sound as casually as she could but knew he would be able to see right through it.

"Come on, you know what. B told us what happened today with Terra." he didn't even look form what he was doing, it was just like he was making light conversation.

She began to fidget with her fingers nervously as she asked "What exactly did he tell you?"

He shrugged "Just that you go had gotten into it again, and that you broke a bowl in the sink. He sounded a little worried."

This made Raven scoff. "Yeah, that wasn't his reaction at the time."

"What do you mean?" Cyborg asked as he finally looked up to her.

Raven was hesitant with her answer at first, but she knew that if anyone could help her with her problems it was Cyborg. "When the dish broke, he kinda blocked Terra from me. He looked like he was protecting her, like I was going to hurt her."

"Oh?"

"Yeah." she shook her head and continued "He had this look in his eye, like I was a target, like I was a threat." She trialed off at the end looking away from him, she could still feel his gaze on her. She knew he wasn't judging, he never judged her, he was just forming a response to what she had just told her.

"Maybe he thought you two would fight. Everyone knows how you are with Terra, maybe he was just trying to keep the peace." Cyborg offered his statement slowly as if it was well thought out.

"No. It was a protective stance, I've seen him use it in battle." She looked up to him and sighed "It hurt Cyborg. It hurts to know that that is the way he thinks of me now."

"Why does his opinion of you matter?" he proceeded to sit on the bar stool next to her as he spoke "You usually never care what people think, why does the grass stain's point of view even matter?"

She didn't have an answer, deep down she knew that what he had said was true. She never cared what people thought, but somehow Beast Boy's opinion did matter. She did care what he thought of her, and it broke her heart to know that he thought she was capable of hurting Terra. "I-I really don't know."

"Really?" She shot him a confused look, he chuckled "Have you ever thought that maybe. just maybe, you are jealous?"

"What?" she shot her friend a hated look.

"Just hear me out, okay? B used to spend all of his time trying to make you happy. Trying to make you laugh or smile. Everything he did, in some way came back to you. And now, it doesn't. I think that deep down you feel as if Terra has taken him away from you. I think that you have feelings for him, and it eats you up inside that he is trying to be with someone other than you."

Raven could feel her face get hot with embarrassment, she looked at the floor and muttered "No that's not it."

Cyborg shrugged "Whatever you say Rae."

Maybe he was right. Maybe she was just jealous, she definitely was more lonely with Terra around, maybe that was due to the lack of annoying presences in her life. Maybe she did have some kind of feelings for Beast Boy other than friendship. She then looked at Cyborg and asked "Should I apologize?"

"I would, but hey that's just me." Raven nodded at his statement as she jumped down from the stool. She smiled at Cyborg, and he matched the intensity of her grin.

Once they said their goodbyes Raven made her way to Beast Boy's room, she wasn't sure what she was going to say, but the guilt in her heart knew that it was the right thing to do. She lifted her knuckles to the door she heard a female voice, this made her stop in her tracks.

"I just don't understand why you are defending her." The voice belonged to Terra, she sounded angry and was on the border of yelling.

"I'm not. I just think you should apologize, Raven is sensitive and you-" Beast Boy's voice sounded strained and tired.

"I am apologizing to that-that witch." Raven's heart sank.

"She isn't a witch and you know it Terra." his voice sounded harsh and cold.

"I don't know anything. Admit it, you have feeling for her don't you!" Terra began to yell.

There was a short pause before he responded "No, I have told you a thousand times I don't have feelings for her. She-"

"Than why do you stand up for her all the time? Huh? Why is she always the one you defend? You should be defending me Beast Boy! I thought you liked me!" Raven had to use all of her will power to not knock down the door and yell at the blond Titan, somehow she found the strength to stay back.

"I do like you-"

"Then why her!"

There was a sigh as he responded "You want to know why I defend her?" there was a slight pause before he continued. "Because I feel sorry for her. She has no one in the world but us Terra, and I think she get's lonely. I feel sorry for the way she is, for the way she has to be. There is nothing between us but my sympathy for her. You have to believe me Terra. She means nothing to me."

Raven could feel her heart shatter, she took a couple of steps back until she was met with the wall. Tears began to flow from her face as she slid to the ground and brought her knees to her chest. He only spend time with her because he felt sorry for her. He didn't care about her, she meant nothing to him. Nothing.

The air vent exploded above her, and she could hear the rustle of feet on the other side of the door. Raven then teleported herself to her room before she could get caught. Once there she crashed into her ground as he body began to tremble. She felt as if everything she knew was a lie, as if she never truly had friends, her heart was nothing more than a empty space in her chest.

Nothing.

She was nothing to him.

"Well at least now I know." she muttered to herself silently. She curled up into a ball on her floor, she could not muster the energy necessary to climb into bed. So she just lied there, alone and broken. Her body shook as her sobs took over her body. She ignored the splintering wood of her head bored, the melting wax that was now covering her vanity, and even the crashing sound of glass breaking. She ignored her surroundings and allowed herself to be consumed with her own agony, maybe if she was consumed then this rejection would be easier, maybe she wouldn't hurt anymore in the morning. All she wanted to be was numb. And numb is what she got.

By the time it was morning, Raven's room was completely wrecked. Glass and papers were scattered on the floor while every piece of furniture in her room was broken in one way or another. However even in the aftermath of it all, she felt nothing.

Raven decided to skip breakfast and make an attempt at picking up her room. She chose to not use her powers for this task, knowing that it will take longer doing it the old fashion way, but what else did she have to do? She didn't have any true friends to spend time with, and unless there was a villain that needed her immediate attention she had no plans.

The sun was well into the sky when there was an knock at her door. Raven let out a large sigh, she had an idea of who it was. However her idea blew up in her face when she opened the door and saw the blond hair, blue eyed beauty she had fought with yesterday.

"Hey." Terra muttered looking to the ground.

"Hey." Raven responded.

Terra looked up and made eye contact before she said "Look I'm sorry about our argument yesterday. I know I should respect your privacy and I just-"

Raven held up her hand to stop the Titan. After taking a large intake of air Raven said, "There is no need to apologize. I was wrong. The tower is your home too, it was wrong of me to make you avoid places just because I currently reside in them."

Terra raised an eyebrow in confusion, "Are you-" she shook her head in disbelief "Are you apologizing? Beast Boy said you never apologize."

Raven hid the look of pain that crossed her face at his name, and responded "Yes.I'm apologizing. I'm sorry"

There was an awkward silence between the two, and Raven shifted her feet waiting for the Titans acceptance so that she could go back to her numbness.

Terra stared her down like there was no tomorrow, Raven couldn't tell if this was from shock, or if she was being skeptical of her words. However after what felt like forever she pulled her hand out of her glove and stuck it out in front of the goth, "How about we agree we were both wrong? Friends?"

Raven flinched, however she reached for her hand and agreed "Friends."

As soon as her had made contact with her skin Raven's surroundings changed. She was now on the ground looking up at Terra. Things were blurry, however she could make out the blue in the Titans eyes, she was not dressed as she usually did and looked somewhat frightening. The black and brown symbol on her chest reflected the light. She leaned over Raven and said words that she couldn't make out, all Raven was able to hear was her own heart beat. The words must have been terrifying because Raven felt a sense of adrenaline rush through her veins.

Just then she began to sink into the ground, brown mud began to cover her body. As an instant reaction she fought the thing that was restricting her, but to no avail. She gasped for air as her head went under, all the time never breaking her focus on the girl that she knew was causing her demise.

Then she was gone, replaced by brown liquid that was stinging her eyes. The same liquid filled her mouth and nose, all the while burning as she was forced to inhale mud. She was dieing, and she knew it. She thrashed her body in panic, but it did nothing but cause her to sink faster. Her life began to flash through her eyes, and she only saw one face. Beast Boy.

Raven let Terra's had go and gasped, causing her to take a few steps back. The blond's expression changed into a look of worry, she asked "What? Are you okay?"

Raven's felt a shiver run up her spine. "Yes, sorry-I-I'm sorry." Just like that she shut the door, shutting off her team mate from her. After taking a few steps back Raven fell to the ground, her body was shaking. Was the vision real? Or was her mind playing games on her again?

She had experienced false visions before, visions caused by fear or hate, but something about this one felt different. It was so vivid, so terrifying that it brought tears to her eyes. She rubbed her temples as a headache began to take over her mind.

Raven knew she couldn't tell the team about what she saw. If she did they would just tell her that her powers were feeding off her already growing hatred for the girl, and it was a false vision provided by such.

But something deep inside her told Raven that the vision was true. This girl, this Titan, was going to do something huge, something unthinkable.

She was going to be the end to them all.


	2. Never Leave Me Alone

Raven's feet dragged through the hallway, she could barely keep her eyelids from collapsing and was using what little energy she had left to make it to her destination. The hallway surrounding her bore the marks of their betrayal. Her body was covered in yellowing bruises and deep cuts from defending her home. After healing her friends, she found that she had no energy to heal herself, and in a way it didn't matter. Her torn body now matched how she felt inside.

She had done this, Terra had sold her friends out to their enemy.

The tower was a mess, mechanical parts were spread out everywhere. Even after hours of clean up, the Titans had only made a partial dent in what needed to be done, but she didn't care about that. Not right now. The only thing she cared about was him.

He had came home hours after the battle had ended, at first their leader bombarded him with questions, where he was, where she was, what happened, he however ignored them all. His body was hollow and emotionless, she didn't need to know what happened, because she already knew. Terra broke his heart. Without a word he locked himself in him room.

After thirty minutes of badgering, Cyborg had told the rest of the team what little information he had been able to get out of the changeling. Terra had sold them out to Slade, he had given her the one thing they couldn't, absolute and total control of her powers. In a way Raven was disgusted, but deep down she understood the struggles that her former friend had faced. After all she herself understood that control was release, control was being completely at peace.

Raven couldn't help but feel accountable for what happened to her team. After all she had foreseen all of this, she had a vision of the upcoming event and she let her uncertainty of the girl silence her voice. She should have spoken up, should have told Robin the feelings that she was keeping at bay, should have insisted until someone listened to her concerns. But she didn't. Instead she allowed the betrayal to happen, and now the one person she cared for the most was broken.

Raven looked up at the name on her desired door. They letters taunted her in a way, she felt like they knew how much of a fool she was, and how scared felt. After her lungs drew in a large amount of air she brought her knuckles to the metal and knocked.

Nothing.

She could mentally sense that he was awake so she knocked again.

Again nothing.

"Beast Boy, I know you are in there." she said softly.

There was a crash of something fragile breaking and a mumble. Finally she go a response, "Go away." his voice was strained and shaky, her heart stopped.

"I just want to talk, please open up." Raven knew she could teleport through the wall to get to her friend, but she understood that he would most likely react poorly, and under the circumstances she did not need to upset him more.

"No." he hissed.

She leaned her head against the metal door, its cool temperature felt good on her strained face. After closing her eyes she let out a large sigh. "I know how you feel Beast Boy." she paused for a moment before continuing. "You feel alone and scared. You feel somewhat responsible for what happened, but I'm here to tell you, it's not your fault."

Just then the door opened without warning, the sudden action almost caused Raven to fell forward. Luckily for her, she was able to push her hands on the door frame to correct her posture. Beast Boy was radiating sadness an angst, her head began to hurt from the amount of emotion he was throwing at her. His eyes were red and puffy, and his hair was matted with grease.

"Who in the hell said that it was my fault." his eyes narrowed at her as he spoke. Raven found herself taken aback slightly by the amount of forcefulness in his tone.

"I-uh, I just thought-"

"Ya, you thought wrong." her eyes widened at the change in his emotion. He was now admitting pure anger, this forced Raven to take a step back. Her heart began to race as he shook his head at her.

"Okay. I'm sorry." she muttered looking at the ground, she fidgeted with her fingers not knowing what else to do. His gaze was burning her skin as he scoffed.

"Why are you sorry? You got what you wanted."

His voice startled her and she looked up tiling her head with confusion. "What do you-"

"You wanted Terra to leave. You hated her." He took a step forward, Raven could see the tears began to form in his eyes, but he made no attempt to touch them. "You were right Raven, she was trouble. You were right, like always."

"Beast Boy-" she started but he cut her off quickly.

"Save it." he shook his head as tears began to fall from his eyes, his tone changed and he began to yell. "Save your apologizes, and your reasoning! You may have had your heart broken, but you have never had it ripped out of your chest. You never felt what it's like to have it forced down you throat! There is no way would could ever understand what I feel!"

She just stared at him. All she could do is stare. The happy go-lucky friend that she once knew was replaced by this hollowed out body. His eyes held no happiness or humor for her, only pain. Her heart began to shatter.

"Terra was right, you are nothing more than a witch who found her way into the hero business."

She flinched slightly at his harsh words, knees began to shake with anger. Raven wanted to yell, she wanted to scream at him for how rude he was being and how much he was hurting her. But she couldn't. No matter what he said, Raven knew she couldn't be angry with him. Not after what he had just been through today. He deserved more that her crude words, he deserved the truth.

"Beast Boy listen to me." she looked into his painful eyes as she spoke softly "I never wanted any of this." he scoffed, but she continued "Terra and I may of had our squabbles, we may have not seen all to eye all the time, but I truly considered her my friend. What she did, it was terrible, but you know what?" He shook his head slightly as if to answer "I still have hope. I have hope that this will all work out in the end. Maybe not in the way we want, but everything will make sense someday. All of this heartache, all of this pain that you are feeling right now, it isn't for nothing. You have to believe that."

Beast Boy looked away and rubbed his eyes. There was a awkward silence while she held her breath, waiting for him to respond to her. Then his mood changed, he was no longer radiating anger, he was now sending her waves of pure sorrow and regret. "Do you-" he paused looking at the floor, "Do you think she will come back to me?"

Raven's heart sank, tears began to form in her eyes as she spoke "I don't kn-." Just then he looked up to her, she could see the green in his eyes as they glimmered at her with hope.

In that moment she decided to lie. In that moment she decided to give up her emotions for his, no matter what feelings she had for him or how much she wanted to be with him, she would suffer, as long as he is happy. "Yes, and I hope she does."

He chuckled, the sound sent shivers up her spine. "Thanks Rae. Really." He proceeded to shoot her the toothy grin that she loved.

She smiled back, "Yeah well, you're welcome." With that she turned and began to walk away, she only stopped at the sound of his voice.

"Hey Rae?"

"Hmm?" she responded as she did a half turn to face him.

His face blushed as if she had said something embarrassing, he began to rub the back of his neck as he said "Would you-." he paused deciding that the floor was a better place for his gaze "Would you mind staying with me tonight? I don't want to be alone."

Her face instantly turned red, she shook her head slightly as if she didn't understand what he was asking "You want me to sleep with you?"

He put up his hands defensively "Not in that way, you can have the bottom bunk. I just-" he let out a large sigh "I just can't stand being alone right now." His voice was soft, almost in a whisper.

Raven paused as she looked into his face. Her heart began to race as a smile threatened to grace her face, after suppressing it she muttered casually. "Okay."

"Really?"

She nodded "Just for tonight." she said sternly, he smiled and nodded. "Good I don't want this to become a habit." she lied.

After making her way into the room Raven watched as the changeling jumped onto top bunk in one leap, she smiled as he plopped on the bed and buried his face into the pillow. "Hmmhmmhmm" he muttered as he made an attempt to talk to her through the fabric.

"I can't hear you Beast Boy." she replied as she rolled her eyes.

"I said, mi casa, su casa." he looked at her and offered her a weak smile.

Raven could only shake her head as a response. After removing her cape she slid into the the sheets of his bottom bunk, her body involuntarily shivered at the situation. She was in a boys room at night. Not just any boy, Beast Boy. Her team mate. Her fiend.

If circumstances were different, then she would have never agreed to this. She would have went to her room, enjoyed her own bed and not have given it a second thought. However circumstances were not different, he needed her and right now she could not deny his simple request.

Her lungs drew in a deep breath to calm her nerves, she didn't really understand why staying in Beast Boy's room made her so uneasy, it just did. She closed her eyes and decided to try to meditate, however her mind was on full blast and she was having a hard time concentrating.

After realizing hat meditation wasn't going to work she began to focus on Beast Boy's breathing. She counted as his lungs inhaled and exhaled the same air they shared. The sound of his breathing began to lull her to sleep, knowing that he was near her began to put her at ease.

After counting 1,000 breaths Raven's eyes began to get heavy, the tole of the day began to impact her in full. "Rae?"

"Yeah?" she muttered, half asleep.

There was along pause until he spoke again. "Thank you for being such a good friend."

She let out a soft chuckle "You would do the same for me." she wasn't sure if he was able to make out what she said because of how bad her words were slurring, but she heard him laugh.

"Go to sleep Raven."

"Good night Beast Boy," she responded as she fought unconsciousness, she let out a deep sigh and rolled over as she began to speak without thinking "I love you." The words slipped out before she could catch them, however once they were out her eyelids were fully closed and sleep was on top of her.

There was another long pause, and right before her mind was completely gone she heard his faint reply, "I love you too Raven."

Although she knew they would never speak of this day again, she would revisit this memory often. This perfect memory would last forever in her heart.


	3. Mud and Confusion

Beast Boy walked through the cave quickly and quietly. His body ached from being forced to move deeper in the earth to avoid being crushed by rocks, although he made it he had received a few abrasions in the process. Sadness filled his heart, he couldn't believe what had just happened to him, he didn't want to believe. He wanted this to all be a dream, he wanted to wake up in his room and go to breakfast and see her smiling face, to hear her happy carefree laugh. But no matter how hard he shook his head, the scene before him never changed. This was indeed happening.

Terra had betrayed them. If that wasn't the worst part, she had refused the change after they had given her a second chance. After everything they had been through, after all the villains they had put away she had become stranger to him. He did regret telling her that she didn't have any friends, but who could honestly blame him? She had went to their enemy for help when the Titans were more than willing to provide everything she needed to gain control over her powers. They would have done anything for her, he would have done anything for her and now he was stuck in a cave alone. He had pleaded with the Titans to give her another chance, and now look where they were. "This is all my fault." He muttered to himself.

The worst part was that he didn't know if any other Titans had survived their attacks. He wasn't sure what he would do if anything serious had happened to his friends, to his true friends. If anyone was killed the blame would fall on his shoulders along, the thought made his heart break. He had lost Cyborg in the fall and was currently searching everywhere for him, he only hoped he wouldn't find his body crushed under a rock, or worse torn apart.

Just then he saw a light flash in his direction. Beast Boy froze instantly, he took a defense stance ready for the worst. To his relief the light moved and there stood Cyborg in all of his glory.

"There you are." he said with a sigh. As he made his way closer, Beast Boy could see dents in his metal and deep cuts on his exposed face. This made his heart sink to his knees.

"Cy you look-"

"I know." he replied cutting off his friend. "But I'm alive. We are alive." he put his shoulder on Beast Boy's shoulder for comfort even though this touch didn't make a difference. "Let's go find the others."

Beast Boy only nodded as his metal friend lead the way though the cave. There was so much he wanted to say to Cyborg, more than anything he wanted to say that he was sorry. Cyborg had said that Terra was evil and in the end he was right, just like he always was. They shouldn't have given her a second chance, they shouldn't have gone easy on her. She needed to be taken down, hard.

"Look Cy, I'm sorry for all of this, I really should've listened to you and I-" Just then Cyborg stopped in his tracks, Beast Boy ran into his back and grunted with surprise, "Dude what-"

"Shhhh." Cyborg whispered as he turned off his light and moved against the wall. That was when Beast Boy heard it, the sound of footsteps in the distance. Beast Boy crouched down next to his friend and held his breath. As soon as the foots steps came close enough Cyborg pulled his ready cannon and aimed it at their unexpected guests, he then turned on his light and flashed in in their direction. Beast Boy's heart stopped.

There in front of them stood Robin and Starfire. Robin was supporting Starfire's weight with a hand around her waist as she clutched to his shoulder desperately. Both Titans were covered in deep scratches and yellowing bruises all along their body. Their uniforms were torn in multiple places and Star's purple two piece was soaking wet. Beast Boy could vaguely make out a large gash on Robin's head that was bleeding profusely. "No." is all that escaped the changelings lips.

"Thank god we found y'all. We beginning to get worried." Cyborg said as he moved to inspect Starfire's leg, he began to palpate the injury as Robin spoke.

"I only just found Star, we came down here for shelter and to regroup." He said as he tightened his grip on Starfires body when she winced in pain at Cyborgs touch.

"So she go you too huh?" Cyborg muttered under his breath, this made Beast Boy's stomach to flip. Terra had done this. She had hurt both of them and from the looks of it almost killed them in the process. "I think you're leg is broken Star. We will need Raven to mend it in order for it to heal properly."

"We have yet to encounter friend Raven." Star informed her metal friend as he stood up.

"There hasn't been any signs of her down here." Cyborg said, Beast Boy could hear the worry in his voice.

"Raven holds a lot of power inside of her, if Terra did take her down it probably wasn't pretty. We need to prepare ourselves for the worst" Robin said honestly. Cyborg only looked at the ground in response unable to respond.

Beast Boy shook his head in disbelief. How could he just assume that Raven was dead? How could he think that she would just allow her self to be taken down? She was their friend, their team mate, why was he saying these terrible things. Robin spoke as if what he was saying was the inevitable, "Terra most likely finished her mission, so we need to look for signs of-"

"Don't say that! Don't you ever imply that Raven is dead do you hear me?" Beast Boy yelled as he moved close to his leader, his whole body was tense as Robin merely stared at him, they were eye to eye and he could see his grip on Star's body tighten in defense.

There was a moment of silence as no words were spoken. Then tension grew and grew until it almost became unbearable. Just then Cyborg put his hand on Beast Boy's chest and pushed him away from his leader. "Stop it B. You know he didn't mean it." Beast Boy huffed and backed away, "We will find her, don't worry. It's going to be okay" Cyborgs voice was calm and yet stern at the same time, Beast Boy almost believed is lies.

Almost.

"Cyborg, are you not able to scan for Raven? Could you not just find her in the cave with your locator?" Starfire said innocently, this made the changelings ears perk up slightly.

"A lot of my scanners were damaged in my fall. I can try, but I just don't know if it'll give off a strong enough signal down here without proper reconstruction of the device." Cyborg then proceeded to pace as he opened the compartment on his arm and began to mess with wires.

Robin helped Starfire sit down on the ground and walked towards Beast Boy slowly. "Look I didn't mean to upset you Beast Boy. I know that you are worried about Raven, and we all are, but it is my job as a leader to prepare for the worst."

Beast Boy turned to face him and sighed. He rubbed the back of his neck as he sat down on the dirt floor. "Yeah I get it, I'm sorry I snapped. I just can't stand the thought of loosing another friend today. It's bad enough that we lost Terra, if we lost Raven too I-I don't know what I would do."

He then buried his face in his hands and shook his head. He wanted more than anything to believe that Terra wouldn't kill anyone, but knew that that wasn't true. She had made an attempt on his own life, and he was actually her friend where as Raven wasn't. Deep down he knew that Terra would only see Raven as a target and nothing else.

Robin only nodded his head as he went back to Starfire and took a seat. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and whispered in her ear, Beast Boy knew he was trying to comfort her and only wished he had someone to comfort him.

After what felt like an eternity Cyborg's arm began to beep loudly. "Hey I got something." he loudly.

"Is it Raven?" Robin asked as he began to pull Star off the ground.

"There is no way to know for sure. I am only picking a heat difference about a half mile that way." He pointed in the direction that Cyborg and Beast Boy had came. "It could be a large animal, but it could be her."

"Let us go then." Star said sternly. Cyborg nodded in agreement as he walked past Beast Boy in order to lead the way. Beast Boy's heat began to beat out of his chest as the anticipation started to eat him away. His animal senses began to heighten, he could feel a protective state coming on, he needed to find Raven. He needed to find her now.

They walked the half mile and stopped at what looked like a dead end. Robin shot Cyborg a confused look as the metal man said "Scanners indicate that there is something in here giving of a large amount of heat." He then moved his light so that it could shine the complete width of the wall. Their eyes began to scan the location, but it looked like there wasn't anything there.

"There." Robin said as he pointed to the right corner.

If Robin wouldn't have pointed it out Beast Boy would have missed it completely. There hidden in the corner, completely covered in mud was Raven. She didn't move an inch at their voices, she had her back against the wall and her knees were in her chest, she had wrapped her arms around her knees and buried her face into her arms. She looked as if she belonged amongst the rocks.

Cyborg instantly went over to her as the others followed slowly. He knelt down beside her and placed his hands on her shoulders, "Raven." he whispered.

Beast Boy's heart sank when she didn't move at first. Then after awhile she looked up at her friend and he could then see the whites of her eyes. He let out a large sigh, she was alive, she was alive and they had found her.

Raven looked through Cyborg, her eyes were glazed over completely. "Raven. What happened?" he asked softly.

She didn't respond, she instead started shaking like his voice had thrown her back in to a nightmare. She shook her head back and forth and moved her hands to cover her ears as if to protect herself from some unheard noise.

Then Raven did something that was more terrifying then all of her other ailments put together, the once strong and confident girl that he knew began to cry, she began to break down in front of him. Her tears cleared a path through her mud soaked face and her sobs took over her whole body. Cyborg attempted to shake her out of whatever was happening, but she wasn't responding. "Raven please. It's okay. Please stop crying." he pleaded.

As soon as the words left Cyborgs mouth she began to cough, the barking in her throat sounded horse as if there was something lodged in it. Raven moved her hands to cover her mouth as a mixture of mud and blood began to seep through her fingers. The rest of the Titans watched in horror as she was forced to move her body to the side in order to vomit up more of the terrifying liquid. Cyborg stood up and took a step back in order not to be hit with the contents of her stomach.

Then Beast Boy knew what happened. Once Raven was done she moved back into her original position, he then moved so that he was kneeling in front of the shaking goth "Terra tried to drown you didn't she Rae." It wasn't a question. It was a statement.

Raven looked up to him and he could see the terror in her eyes. She began to cry again, this time Beast Boy pulled her into his arms he held her as her tears stained his shirt. She spoke in between her gasps for air. "I didn't want to hurt her... I knew how much she... means to you so... I held back...she said some terrible things... and I...I lost control...she pulled me down in to the mud...I couldn't breath... it burned so much and I... I was so scared...it filled my mouth and nose...I fought it but... it was caving in...I only saw blackness...I thought I was going to die."

Beast Boy didn't know what to say so he just held her, he held her tight, afraid that if he loosened his grip he would loose her again. He rocked her gently until her shaking began to slow and her breathing became easy. In that moment his self pity had become something else.

The only thing that his heart felt for Terra now was hatred. He hated her for what she did to him. She hated her for trying to assassinate his friends, and most of all he hated her for breaking Raven.

The goth pulled away after awhile and looked away from him ashamed, "I'm sorry." she whispered quietly so that only he would hear. "I'm sorry for what she did, I'm sorry she broke you're heart."

Beast Boy rubbed his face in order to keep tears from falling, he then buried his face into her shoulder and let out a large sigh. She wrapped her arms around him and and rubbed his back fondly, her touch gave him strength. He then knew what had to be done, he pulled away from his friends grasp and stood to face his team.

"We need find Terra." His voice was stern and strong, almost commanding like. "No more second chances, no more holding back. We need to treat her like any other villain. And what do we do to villains?"

"We take them down." Robin whispered in response.


	4. Candles on the Water

Beast Boy dangled his feet off of the ledge of the tower. The sun was setting over the horizon and the sky was painted with a mixture of beautiful colors. Even in his depressed state he couldn't deny the beauty in front of him. He took in a deep breath and his lungs filled with the sweet air.

Just a few days ago he was stuck inside a cave facing his fate. He had put everything he had into finding the girl and hadn't expected the swarm of emotions that would follow. He had found that finding Terra was easy, keeping Terra was the hard part.

In the end she was a hero. Even after all terrible things that she had done, Terra had made the ultimate sacrifice to save her friends. When it came down to it she had done the right thing, even if that meant turning into stone.

Still.

Still he couldn't help but feel the disaster that she had left behind. Deep down he wasn't sure if he would ever be able to get over what had happened, one moment he was head over heals for the girl, the next she was making an attempt at his life. Their relationship was like a roller coaster, and it had made it's final stop.

He wanted to believe that there was still hope. Hope that one day the Titans would find away to reverse the effects and bring her back to him, but even that hope was tainted. Cyborg had admitted to him that he had no idea where to start looking, this was so foreign to him and he wasn't sure how much of a help he truly could be. He had told him that only person who would have a chance of fixing Terra was Raven. That sure put a damper on his optimism.

He wondered if Raven would even make a real attempt at finding a cure. Maybe at first she would, after all the first twenty-four after he rarely saw her with out a spell book attached to her nose. But how much effort could she passably put into it? Terra had literally tried to drown her, how could Raven just drop everything to bring a girl like that back? Beast Boy let out a large sigh, he wanted to believe that Raven would do everything she could to bring her back, but he couldn't force himself to keep that hope alive.

He then heard a light cough behind him, after turning around he noticed Raven standing a few feet away. She rubbed her arm awkwardly as she asked "Do you mind if I join you?"

He shot her a toothy smile "No, go ahead." he made a gesture beside him was waited as she sat down. Once there she let out a large sigh as she began to rub her eyes, that was when he noticed how exhausted she looked. There were dark bags under her eyes and her hair was covered in grease. There was little color left in her face and if he looked closely the whites of her eyes were now almost completely red. He shook his head "Geez Rae, when is the last time you slept?"

She furrowed her brows and replied "That depends. What day is it?"

"You don't know what day it is? Or is that a lame attempt at a joke."

She looked at him and he could see the confusion in his face. That answered it. It wasn't a joke. "Why haven't you been sleeping?"

She ran her hand through her hair, her fingers got caught in some knots and she winced as she ripped them out. "Every time I try to sleep I have nightmares. I keep dreaming that I'm drowning." she muttered as she looked at the large clump of hair that had intertwined itself in her hand.

"Ah." he muttered as he rubbed the back of his head out of habit. He felt a little nervous, normally Raven would keep this sort of information from him. It seemed in her sleep deprived state she was much more open.

"Yeah, so I keep occupied by looking through my spell books to try to find a way to turn Terra back."

His heart stopped. "Really?" he asked in a suspecting tone. He had not expected to hear that form her.

She nodded as she reattempted to comb her unruly hair. "I just finished the ones in my room and-"

"Wait, you read all of the spell books in your room? You must have had a hundred of them."

"153. I counted as I went." she looked at him and her expression changed into something else, she looked almost sad "I'm sorry Beast Boy. I couldn't find anything. My spell books aren't advanced enough for that kind of magic." he opened his mouth to respond but she continued "I contacted some of my connections in the magical community, they are going to send me what they have on the subject matter. They said it's not much but if there is a way, then it would be a step in the right direction."

His mouth became dry. He couldn't believe what she was telling him. She had put more effort into finding a cure to Terra than he had put into anything, ever. He watched in awe as Raven proceeded to make an attempt to fluff her damaged hair by scratching her scalp. After shaking his head he asked ""Why did you do all of that Rae?"

"My hair is a mess, I need to take a shower but I have been avoiding Star because-"

"No." he let out a light chuckle "Not you're hair there is no hope for that." Raven sighed as she removed her hands from her hair, "Why did you do all of those things for Terra? She took you down the hardest, for god sakes she nearly drowned you."

Raven filched slightly as if the memory of her battle flooded back to her. She looked at he dangling feet and shook her head slowly, "I didn't do those things for her Beast Boy. I did them for you."

"For me?" he was more confused than he was before. Why did Raven push herself, why did she spend all those sleepless nights with her nose in a book and only caffeine in her system? I just didn't add up.

"Yeah. I know what she meant to you. If having her back makes you happy, then I will do everything in my power to find a way. For you."

"Raven. I-"

Beast Boy was cut off by the sound of the doors to the roof opening. "Friend Raven, it is time, Robin and Cyborg are waiting with everything."

Raven proceeded to turn to her friend and smile, after offering her a nod in recognition, she answered "Okay, we will be down there in a minute." The alien girl returned her nod and proceeded to disappear through the hallway.

Beast Boy took a look around and noticed that the sun had completely set, he hadn't even noticed the time as it flew away from the two. It had to be almost ten o'clock. He looked at Raven who had stood and was now brushing off her legs causally. He raised an eyebrow and asked "What's going on."

"It's a surprise." she muttered as she offered him her hand to pull him up. He accepted and once on his feet she began to walk through the door but stopped when she noticed him lingering behind. "Are you coming?"

"Uh. No? I don't even know whats going on." he replied sarcastically.

She rolled her eyes and walked to where he was, she placed her hand on his shoulder causing a sense of electricity to run down his arm "Come on Beast Boy. Don't you trust me?"

He let a large grin grow on his face as he replied "Of course. With my life."

She smiled and nodded, then proceeded to grab his hand and lead him through the tower. He realized in that moment that he would follow this girl anywhere, he meant what he said, he really did trust her.

Raven lead him out of the tower and to the beach below. He had asked many questions along the way, however he did not received one answer from the goth. As they neared the water he could make out the forms of the rest of the Titans waiting for him, he smiled and waved awkwardly. They only nodded in response, in their hands were make shift paper boats, each equipped with some form of candle on top, Cyborg and Robin held two while Star only had one.

"What is this?" he asked as Raven let go of his hand.

"This is for you Beast Boy." Robin said as he handed his extra boat to him.

"But-"

"These boats are for Terra. This a remembrance ceremony, we will each light a candle and set it to sea, all the while saying what we are going to miss most about her." Cyborg explained as he handed Raven her boat. He proceeded to light her candle with a lighter that was built into his finger, the goth only offered him a small smile in response.

"Yes friend Raven thought that this would be a great way to show our love for our lost friend. We were most excited to help." Star said as she went to Cyborg to have her candle lighted.

"Raven?" He looked over to his friend and noticed that she was making her way to the water with her lighted candle. She knelt down and placed it lightly on the water and stood up, the small boat began to drift with the current and made its way further and further out.

"I will miss your positive attitude, you always found the bright side in everything you did and it always helped the team through tough times. I will never stop looking for a cure for your situation, and hopefully some day I can find a way to reverse the effects." she sighed as she took a few steps away from where she was and stared blankly ahead, as if she was deep in thought.

Starfire proceeded to walk past her friend and placed the boat in the water, after standing up she said "I will miss the way you always found time to do the girl talk with me. Hopefully someday we will finish our conversations."

Cyborg was next, after placing his candle in the water he said "I will miss the way you could whoop B at video games. You always knew how to put him in his place." A small smile crossed his face as he went to join the girls.

Robin followed Cyborg, as his boat floated away he said "I will miss the fight that you had inside of you. No matter how hard the challenge you always put your best foot forward, and gave one hundred percent all the time." Robin walked to Star and placed his arm around her shoulder, she responded by leaning her head on his shoulder as tears began to fall from her eyes.

The Titans looked over to where Beast Boy stood and waited. Slowly he made his way to where they were and allowed Cyborg to light his candle, he then proceeded to place it in the water. He watched as it swayed slightly as the current took it out, he let out a large sigh and shook his head.

"I will miss everything about you Terra. Even if you never come back to us, you will always hold a special place in my heart. I know the next few weeks will be rough but-" he looked over to his friends as they just watched him, the then meet Raven's gaze, she let out a small smile and his heart fluttered at the sight of it "but with great friends I know I will be okay." A few tears slid down his face as he turned and watched the five boats make their way out of sight, in the distance they looked like nothing more than a memory.

Raven proceeded to make her way next to him. Without even thinking he reached over and grabbed her hand, he intertwined their fingers and gave her a light squeeze. To his surprise she leaned into him and placed her head on top of his shoulder all the while letting out a small sigh. He responded instantly and leaned his head against hers, a small smile plastered on his face.

In that moment he knew that everything was going to be okay, that he was going to be okay. As long as he had great friends like Raven, soon his pain would dull. Soon he would be able to survive with out her just like he had done before.

And then he could start over.


End file.
